Better

Sometimes I fear confusion
Not just of my mind but
Of bones and limbs.
What is they forget how to join?
A knee in an elbow with a thigh.
Sometimes I fear fire
I imagine it losing its form and coming after me
Like air between my fingers-
Reaching bits of anatomy that are not even physical.

Sometimes I fear intimacy
A love that tangles in warmth and bitter sweet
Rush of the life.
Maybe just the sour taste remains after a while.
Sometimes I fear time
The rat that is always after me
Nibbling at peace and gnawing at broken skin hungrily.

I close my eyes and I see utter dark.
I am scared to sleep and sleep without light.
It’s a hide and seek game I play each night.
Voices from yesteryears creep in my head as I
Lose weight to illness and
Fatigue gives way to activity and
Daziness swifts over my mind.
It’s a battle that is beyond time, reason, and space
I stand facing a mirror
Bare faced.

The same fingers that have grown with me
Grip each other as I go up and down
Hours at a time.
Nothing matters but the urge to become better-
Lift a rock from the bottom of the sea
Expose it to the white sun
A healing sun that breathes
And rub paint of imagination and expression on it-
One of colour and peace.

~insight07

Access prose and poems in my book, “Dreaming in a Fish Bowl”!

Link- https://rb.gy/nbxljh

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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.