I feel your stare from miles away
A fleeting moment, but one that stayed
In the movement of limbs and rhythm of beats
I thought of you, or maybe I didn’t
But even so, I saw you
And I’ve been thinking of you since.
Maybe I don’t cross your mind at all
Maybe you don’t think of me in the middle of the day or
When you sleep in the night.
Maybe I don’t come in your dreams,
But sometimes, maybe you do in mine.
In the dead of the darkness, before the light is about to break me
Break the sky, I lie awake
Thinking of that fleeting moment.
What do we mean to each other?
You, an unattainable, lost (never possible) lover
The symbol of youth and vile culture.
Me? I am whole in myself
And I keep finding myself, lost in thought
Of the bricks of infatuations I have laid in my head.
A monster that I have fed
A monster that breeds within.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


Sometimes I like to believe that each word has a story
And each story has a life.
I think of the life running in books
Books that I once patiently sat through
I remember being patient while I was sick with a fever that just wouldn’t leave
24 days, when I was 13
13 was a weird age, I had started with yoga
Now I vehemently dislike yoga
Tick tick tock, my mother says youth will pass me by
I should take better care of my health.
I remember a time when my words were my only identity
My blog crossed 1500+ followers
A website without my name.
Tick tick tock, the clock runs on
I remember when I learned the word vehement,
And so, I use it again-

I vehemently hate the word, Viral.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.



I have not crossed oceans
But two near places are also the furthest away?
In a dry land, I have
A bed, a desk, and two half walls to myself
I learn and relearn
1) More theories, model, graphs
2) About living with people
Who are not my people
Can I go to the atrocious extent
Of calling someone mine, at all?
Glinting at spots of light
At classrooms and night sky
The manager and creator in me fight
I fight with people
And think of the time
I worked to be where I am-
Where am I?


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


I will lend you my bones

My flighty hollow white bones

Will you structure them the same as me?

Break some and make a new shape

Curve the femur into a sickle

A sickle that is the white moon

Three birds on my thighs

Tattooed for life-

Do my bones know the marks on my pale skin?

Scars from falls that were never deep enough

But they hurt, they hurt.

My bones are unbroken, pristine and shiny

My skull has a puncture from where my flowers grow

Garden of thoughts inside the dome of the sky.

I will lend you my bones

Imperfect, but me in all ways

Will you love them as me or as the new shapes

In them you see?


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


Just maybe, things will be alright

This summer in me will never end

Winter will be at bay

And I’ll swim in the light of me.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

A thousand times

To all the dirty edges and untidy nooks

The places that I ignored and feelings I have dusted aside

Moments I have packed in bags and some lingering warmth that stays behind

All the people whom I have loved, and will always love

But have stopped sharing a piece of me

And then, the thorns of having loved but being cut and pricked

In ways that were largely unseen.

A mind a mess that is unexplored

Each word of this story I have learned and revised

Shared a thousand times, still

The warmth and familiarity of it leaves me with a feeling

Of having lived and loved a thousand times

With the same faces and hands- again and again.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Little smile

I tread carefully

On this alien land

People are people

It took some time

For me to realise

Who am I?

I ask this

A thousand times

Who is who?

Who is true?

Faces with misleading eyes

It is a strange world

With stranger minds

I walk through it

With a little smile

For my own.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


Spin my memory into

Moving tornadoes of moments.

A hundred, side by side

And I’m torn each time.

Lights and sparks with fire burning

Deep in my chest;

Thunder crackles and licks at the sky-

A bite of blueberry cheesecake between my lips.

Moments boil down to people and

That feeling of love that is sticky between my fingers.

Some honey, some threads of blue colour

I spin into patterns between my fingers.

I try to trap words of my mind jungle

Sticky golden words into

Jars of glass body.

Jars of indigo ink and beautiful golden paper

That have me trapped in them-


A hundred, side by side.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.