The suffocation in my lungs releases a breath at a time
There is no strength in my spine
But I stack bricks instead.
I see the moon after nights and hours
I see faces in flesh after a lifetime
Emotions other than survival and fear fill me
Tears well up my eyes-
I see the sun from the eyes of so many trees.
Time twists itself to fit its magnanimous presence
In my small head,
I cry in remembrance
I cry in gratitude.
Hands have grown with rings on them,
My nails have grown so much too.
Life is piercing me from all sides,
I am another lost bird with a soul.
Cities brimming with clouds and stories
Surrender to the groud- rain comes crashing down.
Dreams are reflections of ocean in wells-
A yellow leaf swaying away and away
With the endless blue waves.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


I would like to kiss a few moments
Make them a part of my skin
Have them live and breathe with me
As I go on with this life, daily
Exposing truth after truth
Of a world that doesn’t care much about my existence.

I want to sleep with these memories on my pillow
Hear their whispers sweet in my ears
But their voice is so feeble
And my eyes don’t open easily.
I am lost in a love that just doesn’t give.
How do we make the unattainable love us?


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

I feel

I drink sips of grief

From a porcelain cup

Of tea.

I taste the bitter

Sweet memories

In this black


Coloured candies of

Sweet sugar sweet

Melt on my pink


Salt from a

Pile of white stick

To my wet fingers.

I feel.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.



I am in between spaces of myself
Fabrics and webs of indefinite threads
Are there more calluses on my skin
Than bricks in these red walls?
Is it only me who can
Feel the ground quaking beneath my two feet
Breaking every second, cracks in every square.
Roots fail to hold the dry earth together
Leaves aching to reach green and their
Moody sun. It is here and there.
Is love truly enough?
Is the presence of the sky enough
To ensure there will be rain?
To ensure that these cracks will seal
With water in every crevice,
Water that has arisen from the depths
Of my very being,
One that no one has seen
One that is whole.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


It is a circus

It is a game

You are the trainer

You are the lion with mane

Dancing monkeys and

Blinding colours

Bright lights

Audience full of loud cheers

A joker with sad eyes

An elephant which

Speaks lies

Swinging ropes from

Mammoth tents

A happy dog

Collecting twenty cents.

Who are you

In this flow?

A bit of glimmer

A spark of fake hope?

We are all

Pieces in the game

Come, let’s do our part

Stick to our identity and names

Even if you are lost

You can thank the generous host!


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


Each night, silence spreads like wild fire
Across my city of millions
Over the houses and lanes
Sleepy heads and still trains.
A two wheeler cuts a neat line
With its heavy pounding and noise
The rider had a helmet, and a very straight spine.
I look at it from my corner window-
A wonderment at motion that is not mine anymore.

I remember a painting in a book I had once read
Written many years before, about a family and siblings and a lonely island
A dinner with swelling silences.
Bubbles of reality envelope me as I
Think of the boat cutting a neat line across that canvas.

In folds, I hold myself together.
With its heavy pounding and noise,
I feel my pulse in my toes and fingers.
In knots, I sleep noiselessly
By a closed wall and open window.
Open to the possibility of a tomorrow.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


I feel your stare from miles away
A fleeting moment, but one that stayed
In the movement of limbs and rhythm of beats
I thought of you, or maybe I didn’t
But even so, I saw you
And I’ve been thinking of you since.
Maybe I don’t cross your mind at all
Maybe you don’t think of me in the middle of the day or
When you sleep in the night.
Maybe I don’t come in your dreams,
But sometimes, maybe you do in mine.
In the dead of the darkness, before the light is about to break me
Break the sky, I lie awake
Thinking of that fleeting moment.
What do we mean to each other?
You, an unattainable, lost (never possible) lover
The symbol of youth and vile culture.
Me? I am whole in myself
And I keep finding myself, lost in thoughts
Of bricks of infatuations I have laid in my head.
A monster that I have fed
A monster that breeds within.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Pigeon Person

Birds have hallow bones,
I read somewhere I remember.
Maybe I am more pigeon than human-
Just without a bobbing neck.
What I do have, is a bobbing mind,
And a beak constantly hammering down my head,
Maybe my hair is a pigeon.
Or its nest.
I am an egg, with sticky yolk held in my body-
I am two colours of black and white.
People want shades of grey,
I want shades of darkness to become a part of my too bright world-
I want to sleep a sleep, not dream a memory.
With cloth over my eyes, I try to breathe in a yellow room
But the walls close in on me,
Till they rest on my eye lids
Mocking the strength of my will to not open and stare
Stare stare
At their blank expressions.
I feel the hovering of ghosts,
Pigeon ghosts down my neck.
I am a mistake of a person.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.