Passive Ghost

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Each day, all around there is so much bloodshed

So many battles being fought, some rarely being won

What is winning, anyway?

The last man standing?

Survival of the fittest?

I might be some 10-20 battles old

But, I feel that-

Old and worn. I don’t want to spend each day fighting

Each other or this unexplainable life that is constantly willing to take things from us.

I, like any other being, was thrown into existence

I particularly am not keen on its idea

But even after we have come into existence

Why does it need to be so difficult?

Each moment, there are ten different things pounding on my head

And I become blank after a point.

A passive ghost that is neither here not there

Just hanging in the middle, somewhere.

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~insight07

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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

11/06/2020

Dear Bloggers,

How is life treating you? I hope you all have been well. Is it very hot and humid, where you are coming from?

I can say this for my reality. It is dripping sunlight. And as someone who absolutely adores the sun, it is a little astounding to say that I’m getting tired of this so called summer monsoon transition. While I don’t mind listening to the thunder cackle each time I feel anger (which is often these days), I do mind the incessant stillness that ceases to not exist.

These days, surprisingly, I’m sleeping a lot more. After going on for weeks with 4-6 hours of sleep a night, I’m appreciating restful sleep of 7-9 hours each night. Even I don’t know what triggers these wild swings.

I had the most delicious papaya a few days back, and I wish it to have it again. Today, I had the best mango of this season. Yes, you got me. I am a summer loving mango eating person. Hehe.

My love for K drama has taken me to another level! I have started learning Hangul. I am learning a language from scratch probably after learning English and Hindi some odd 17 years back. It is an interesting experience! While I can understand Bangla and Marwari, my spoken Bangla is abysmal.

At the end of each day, when I don’t understand how to measure my productivity with my existence in a corporate space, my new knowledge in Hangul makes me happy.

Let me know what you all have been up to! You can leave comments below, or drop a mail at insight07blog@gmail.com.

Until next time.

~Devika

PS- If there is anything in particular you want me to write on, feel free to let me know. 🙂

Bulb

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I feel the bulb

Shining in my room

My white moon

On the white wall

Stars of fluorescent glow

Stuck on the ceiling

Look at me dreaming

Under their dark halo

Tock tock

Tick tick,

My phone blinks

With emails and messages; flowing seas

An empty bottle

An unread letter

Deep in my chest, I float hither

With the waves of subconscious, lost and alone.

So alone.

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~insight07

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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

02/06/2020

Hello there, Bloggers!

It’s been a while since I uploaded something that was not a creative piece of writing by me. While I do know why I stopped sharing bits and pieces about me and my life, in so to speak, direct words, I would like to share the reason with you all too.

Often times, it feels like I am talking to myself. Or maybe across a mountain edge. While there might be someone listening to my shouts, most times it’s an empty echo that reaches my ears. This need to be heard is always there. But the silence then is a little surprising.

Even now while I write, I don’t know how well it will be heard. But I’ve learnt nothing bad comes out of trying. So here is an honest attempt to reconnect with what used to be my greatest achievement.

I started blogging nearly five years back, and it’s been an insane journey. I completed school, college, masters in this time. I have begun with my first job, and it feels all sorts of surreal. I understand that there is so much to learn. And sometimes it feels like the whole of humanity’s burden has fallen on me. But I let such moments pass.

I recently started watching K-Drama and let me tell you all, I am in love. I need to go to Seoul someday. And hopefully, it will not be as long as it seems to be. It has sort of been my saving grace in the home lockdown that still continues.

My writing style has evolved over the years. I try not to curb myself too much. Although I understand sometimes the emotions are repetitive and the imageries and words, similar. But if it’s in my system, I think it deserves to be let out.

The gist of this post is, I am ready to go back to blogging, and not just poetry writing. I would love to hear from you, what have you all been up to! Feel free to drop comments below, or reach out to me at insight07blog@gmail.com

Until next time,

Devika