Cloudy

Today, I had no sensation of my hair drying
I always let it down to dry at its own pace.
I want to control something in my life.
I have no realisation of time these days
Or places or people
Especially the people. Everyone seems to be going ahead
Going on while I sit and count to ten to be able to breathe
Breathe, yes
I reach out for my bottle for a sip of familiar water.
Even if everything will change, this might not
Unless we change the RO, of course.
Clouds float and lather with cheap blue sky
We are the same, clouds and I, just a little different in water that’s all
Yet. I find myself at rock bottom with no semblance of legs
To kick and swim. I have been sitting for far too long.
My knees feel relevant. But head does not. I want to rain over lands.
Maybe cause storms over some maps
Have a human god name given to my angst.
(My human name means god)
To be anything but this existence because I feel its futility.
My concerns may seem futile in a pandemic.
But why does it feel like only I was thrown into the wall and then down a cliff
While people send photos of flying with the clouds
I am still a rock stacked near the ground
A full stop in a world of commas
Standing in cold buildings with warm lights
Around a clockless (timeless) wall.
I don’t decorate my walls or my nails or my hair anymore
I just let it down
Like I let myself down
Over and over again.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Yellow and white


The sun is a big blob of butter
Melting into my house and on my fingers.
Streams of pure yellow and white come and pool
Creating waves and tides of lightness.
I don’t mind floating
I don’t mind drowning.
I wake up and brush my teeth
Have a buttered toast with white milk;
My being also feels light after eating light.


~insight07


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Metamorphosis

I am purchasing bananas

For breakfast, with chocolate cereal and boiled milk

A crowd around me, people buying vegetables

Bargaining, chattering, gossiping

Sweating

I feel the bananas, peel a banana

I am hungry, you see

To my utter dismay,

The banana is not a banana

But wood. Bright shiny wood.

How? I think, perplexed

Then, I hear it

The chattering muting

People are not people anymore

But termites, buying wood

For food.

I am still me, but the world is not

At least this world is not.

Kafka’s vision arises and unfolds in front of me-

A metamorphosis of my mind in a dream.

~insight07 •

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

A truth, a lie

It’s funny how days

Are not days anymore

But tired hopeless hours

Piled on each other

Faces, are not faces anymore

But expressions of the same

Thought unsaid.

Eyes wander through and to

Colours of humans and one blue

Hands of the dead undead

Deep in my chest

Burst through, branching

Towards the ultimate good.

I have exhausted myself

I don’t feel myself

In this jungle

Of multi-faceted friends

I still, try and try

Because I believe

All actions come back to me

A truth, a lie.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.