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Hello, Instagram!

Hello bloggers! Haven’t been keeping in touch, apologies.

So, I’ve finally decided to join Instagram. I’ll be uploading the same content over there, as I upload over here. It’ll just be in a different format.

Drop by to say hello! Also, if you’ve ever had any questions which you’ve wanted to ask but felt shy, ask me on Instagram, without the presence of an audience.

I will be uploading short videos and photographs clicked by me as well. Instagram is a better platform for that, as compared to WordPress.

So, that is it. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Rose

Thorns in my throat

Will roses bloom on my tongue?

Will roots spread to my legs and hold me still, to this moment?

Will I bow to the sun each morning?

Will I wither after getting plucked?

Will I grow to more roses

Or die while trying?

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Not mine

This desperation to bring the sky down.

My nails drag across the horizon,

Till this blue slips and pools at my feet

My folded knees sit heavy

On a ground that does not sit still

These clouds and the sun don’t feel like my own

Tonight, the moon didn’t talk back to me

Unlike every other night

The stars came out, but they didn’t show me their smile

My love is here, but at this moment

It is not mine.

~insight07 •

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Isolation Isles

In dark oceans under changing skies

Swimming, exist Isolation Isles

Not found on maps

Or through directions of compass

These lands float on unnamed waters.

Barren- white sand that has never seen the sun

Under the glow of stars that burn.

A ragged doll sits beside a rock

Button eyes, button mouth

Matted wollen hair.

A childhood lost in the consciousness of grown years

These oceans have no meaning to the outside world-

Caged in a mind, the waves roll

In dreams- young eyes see the button holes

Of a beloved doll friend on Isolation Isle

The gone years had been so kind.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Viral

Sometimes I like to believe that each word has a story
And each story has a life.
I think of the life running in books
Books that I once patiently sat through
I remember being patient while I was sick with a fever that just wouldn’t leave
24 days, when I was 13
13 was a weird age, I had started with yoga
Now I vehemently dislike yoga
Tick tick tock, my mother says youth will pass me by
I should take better care of my health.
I remember a time when my words were my only identity
My blog crossed 1500+ followers
A website without my name.
Tick tick tock, the clock runs on
I remember when I learned the word vehement,
And so, I use it again-

I vehemently hate the word, Viral.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

One and a half

I can live with half a heart

I feel

Lifting the other half

Into your trembling chest

One and a half heart

Beat in tandem

Dumbadumdadum

My half heart shivers in cold

Blood rushes in where I had once been whole

I bleed and bleed

Fingertips cold and blue

I kiss you goodbye

Warm jacket and a blanket

In my bag that will fly with me

Miles away.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Fish

This world feels a little lot overwhelming

Drowning me in its flow of activities

I measure the water in my own two palms

Trickling down my fingers, a drop by one

The water in the lake of me is drying

This summer is harsh and ruthless

Lifeless trees’ shadows fall on me

I am patches of dark and light

Deep within, a fish swims

Jumping in glee

She feels neither light, nor dark

She just swims in her loss of memory and purpose

Who will she talk to? Who will she be?

She does not know

From one fish bowl to the next

She jumps and squeals and maybe sometimes she laughs

Her tears also form the salt of this limited unlimited sea.

~insight07 •

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

11/10/2020

Hello Bloggers! How have you been?

I hope the season of Autumn and receding rain has been good to you. Did you get to catch any unexpected colour in the sky? I saw an orange sky at 5:30 AM.

I have yet again, been irregular when it comes to blogging. Let’s just say a block is a sad sad reality? While I could have reshared some of my old content, I just didn’t feel like it.

These days, I have become a person I never thought I would have. I have always strived for a career that was parts business and creativity. But as luck would have it, I landed myself a pure sales role. It is a good learning and a good experience, but it is not exactly what I had in mind.

Anyway, drawing back to my first point, I am increasingly finding it hard to let the creativity flow, after fulfilling all the other duties that a so called adult life has asked of me. I am still hopeful that this a phase.

Maybe it is staying at home that has drained me of inspiration. I remember a couple of months back when I had stepped out of the house for the first time in 5 months, I had been full of observations and words. Now, not so much. : P

Most of my waking time is spent working (roughly 60+ hours in a week). Another major chunk goes in sleep. The rest of the time I am glued to my phone, consuming content. I don’t even feel like talking much to my friends anymore. The thought that some of them have gone for vacations and casually met their friends, fills me with anxiety.

Sometimes when I have surfed social media enough and spoken enough with a few friends, I feel like the Pandemic has only reached me, my mind so intensely. It feels unfair when I see my sister grappled with anxiety and myself working crazy hours because of the entire work from home culture.

But then, they are just a few people. This world is bigger and more dense. 🙂 So I get a better hope for the future.

In my new discoveries, I have started cooking every Saturday! It’s been two weeks so far, and I am enjoying the experience. Even though the heat can get a little crazy.

I have found my love in Yoo Ah In. A brilliant actor and performer, he truly re-establishes my faith in good talent. I remember thinking that I am thankful to be alive because I could witness someone like him. Maybe I have a tiny crush? 😛

Korean movies are amazing! Unlike the Dramas that focus more on romance, these movies cover a range of genres that aligns well with my taste- thriller, suspense, psychology. Have you seen any good films recently?

I would love to hear from you about all the things happening at your end! Feel free to drop comments below. 🙂

Hear from you soon.

~Devika

Feeling of Home


While walking on a green field
Under the pale moon,
I remember home.
The suffocating fullness of the incomprehensible love
Habits that have been formed with my limbs
People whose blood and illness I carry as well
A certain smile and care that will always tell me, it will be okay
I remember the walls that have seen me become
A hundred different Devikas before I froze, brick by brick.
All the fights and terror with which we passed each day
All that emotion that flowed thick in us.
The laughs and loose hair, chatter that will always comfort me in my sleep.
I have had the privilege of growing up among different mothers
And I am a daughter to all.

Miles away, my heart beats quickly
I miss not feeling like a pretense
Not being judged in a way that made me doubt my bricks
Not feeling like a burden or having my thoughts questioned
Because even they are a part of an illness that was passed down to me.

Why is home so far?
Why is the feeling of home so far?


~insight07


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Rupture

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I’m rupturing;
The limit of my physical being
Exhausts me, annoys me.

I’ve caught a piece of this universe
In the glass jar of my room
I stare into its nothingness
Night after night after night.

In the deepest hour
When the world is asleep
I collect silences and release them.

The limit of my being extends
To the walls and ceiling;
Bricks and bones with painted skin.
And in it, I breathe
Explore the beautiful horrific dreams
My mind unfolds.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Identity


Where does a sense of identity spring from?
Is it the way my words match with my thoughts
The way my eyes wander to beauty I love
Is it the way my lips talk to people
Or the way my tongue craves a taste
Is it from the way I differentiate my memory of sounds from yours
Or the way I choose to remember my memories.
Is it from the way my skin looks in sunshine
Or the number of people who look at me with love in their eyes.
Is it from the work, the pointless exhausting work I unpile on myself
Or the lack of praises my efforts get.
Is it from the approval of my existence that my creators give
Or maybe, the way I will be gone, when I will be gone.

I think it comes when I am lying in the darkness
Beneath a whirling fan, a body in darkness
When I am trying to hunt for the light within
The watery sun in my being.
The physicality of my existence
Aligning somewhere with the knowledge in me.
That’s my sense of identity to me.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.