Insecure mind and a beating heart
Silent voices in the dark
Giving eyes and ungiving arms
Conflicting thoughts and qualms
Conversations in words and glances
Unsatisfied mind giving a million chances
Needs and wants raging fights
Tell me, what is your wrong, what is your right?
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~insight07
Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
I stare at the coffee coloured wall that sits opposite me.
I have had coffee only once in the past 7-8 months?
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I remember this time when I was alone in a coffee shop
Biding time till it was time for college.
In between classes, I liked my own company.
In my favourite part of the town I watched the cars hustle
People run over each other
And people step out of their office for their tea and smoke.
I tried smoking in that very air for the first time.
I even smoked something else for the first time not more than 20 steps away.
Sitting alone in that coffee shop with music blaring in my ears,
I used to imagine of a life beyond the four walls-
Of education, liberation, creativity
Maturity, independence, life
So to speak.
But I did enjoy life back then too.
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3 years later-
A taste of all the above is bitter sweet on my tongue.
Having been in my favourite city since 7-8 months?
I miss exploring it on my own.
Leaving these 4 walls is so necessary, even now
But my home in the city pulls me into its knowing loving arms.
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I don’t want richness or the title of Senior xyz
Some 10-15 years down the line,
I want to come back to my city
And open a space that will speak
Of education, liberation, creativity
Oh, and some tea along with coffee.
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
Hello Bloggers!
How have you all been? I hope life has been pleasant to you and the cool weather is suiting your sensibilities.
I for one like all seasons, summer the most because mangoes are then available in my country. And I love mangoes. Right now, I am loving the changing colours of the trees.
A couple of years back, I had this realisation when I was maintaining a small plant which I lovingly called Plantee.
“Even tiny plants experience autumn.”
This had stuck me with me all through that year. And sometimes it still comes back to me. Today, at the odd hour of 5:30 AM, I caught some of my mum’s plants experiencing autumn.
Life has an odd way of moving. As soon as I get comfortable somewhere, it is time to move on. After 8 months of being at home and innumerable adjustments at my end, I was finally getting used to this routine. But as luck may have it, my office will resume work from its premises soon. That will entail me making a shift to Mumbai.
While in a way the idea is exciting, it is not so in the middle of a pandemic even though most people seem to have forgotten about it. This following week is going to be full of some difficult conversations. Wish me luck!
Coming week, I even have a long weekend to look forward to! We will be celebrating Diwali this weekend in India. I like this festival, with all its diyas and light.
It feels surreal, that we are close to wrapping this year. It’s been such a long and excruciating one. I hope we never experience something like this ever again, at least in this lifetime.
But all is not bad I guess. Biden’s win gives some hope to people across the world. Maybe this year will redeem itself in the almost two months left?
I would love to hear your thoughts on the above things! Please let me know in the comments below 🙂
I am even on the lookout for some good K-drama, recommendations are more than welcome!
Hear from you soon.
~Devika
I’m walking with needles in my feet.
Can’t you see the blood flowing down?
It’s an ocean now.
I continue to walk mountains,
To an end, to a view
I don’t know much about anymore.
This journey has been romanticised, much like everything in love
To make living a little easier.
And not realise that each breath
Is a birth and death on my lips.
My teeth bite on this graveyard,
To keep the shattering within.
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
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