life is a lovely chaos
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I drink sips of grief
From a porcelain cup
Of tea.
I taste the bitter
Sweet memories
In this black
Coffee.
Coloured candies of
Sweet sugar sweet
Melt on my pink
Tongue.
Salt from a
Pile of white stick
To my wet fingers.
I feel.
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
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I am in between spaces of myself
Fabrics and webs of indefinite threads
Are there more calluses on my skin
Than bricks in these red walls?
Is it only me who can
Feel the ground quaking beneath my two feet
Breaking every second, cracks in every square.
Roots fail to hold the dry earth together
Leaves aching to reach green and their
Moody sun. It is here and there.
Is love truly enough?
Is the presence of the sky enough
To ensure there will be rain?
To ensure that these cracks will seal
With water in every crevice,
Water that has arisen from the depths
Of my very being,
One that no one has seen
One that is whole.
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
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It is a circus
It is a game
You are the trainer
You are the lion with mane
Dancing monkeys and
Blinding colours
Bright lights
Audience full of loud cheers
A joker with sad eyes
An elephant which
Speaks lies
Swinging ropes from
Mammoth tents
A happy dog
Collecting twenty cents.
Who are you
In this flow?
A bit of glimmer
A spark of fake hope?
We are all
Pieces in the game
Come, let’s do our part
Stick to our identity and names
Even if you are lost
You can thank the generous host!
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
Each night, silence spreads like wild fire
Across my city of millions
Over the houses and lanes
Sleepy heads and still trains.
A two wheeler cuts a neat line
With its heavy pounding and noise
The rider had a helmet, and a very straight spine.
I look at it from my corner window-
A wonderment at motion that is not mine anymore.
•
I remember a painting in a book I had once read
Written many years before, about a family and siblings and a lonely island
A dinner with swelling silences.
Bubbles of reality envelope me as I
Think of the boat cutting a neat line across that canvas.
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In folds, I hold myself together.
With its heavy pounding and noise,
I feel my pulse in my toes and fingers.
In knots, I sleep noiselessly
By a closed wall and open window.
Open to the possibility of a tomorrow.
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
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I feel your stare from miles away
A fleeting moment, but one that stayed
In the movement of limbs and rhythm of beats
I thought of you, or maybe I didn’t
But even so, I saw you
And I’ve been thinking of you since.
Maybe I don’t cross your mind at all
Maybe you don’t think of me in the middle of the day or
When you sleep in the night.
Maybe I don’t come in your dreams,
But sometimes, maybe you do in mine.
In the dead of the darkness, before the light is about to break me
Break the sky, I lie awake
Thinking of that fleeting moment.
What do we mean to each other?
You, an unattainable, lost (never possible) lover
The symbol of youth and vile culture.
Me? I am whole in myself
And I keep finding myself, lost in thoughts
Of bricks of infatuations I have laid in my head.
A monster that I have fed
A monster that breeds within.
•
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
•
Birds have hallow bones,
I read somewhere I remember.
Maybe I am more pigeon than human-
Just without a bobbing neck.
What I do have, is a bobbing mind,
And a beak constantly hammering down my head,
Maybe my hair is a pigeon.
Or its nest.
I am an egg, with sticky yolk held in my body-
I am two colours of black and white.
People want shades of grey,
I want shades of darkness to become a part of my too bright world-
I want to sleep a sleep, not dream a memory.
With cloth over my eyes, I try to breathe in a yellow room
But the walls close in on me,
Till they rest on my eye lids
Mocking the strength of my will to not open and stare
Stare stare
At their blank expressions.
I feel the hovering of ghosts,
Pigeon ghosts down my neck.
I am a mistake of a person.
•
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~insight07
•
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
•
It’s funny how days
Are not days anymore
But tired hopeless hours
Piled on each other
Faces, are not faces anymore
But expressions of the same
Thought unsaid.
Eyes wander through and to
Colours of humans and one blue
Hands of the dead undead
Deep in my chest
Burst through, branching
Towards the ultimate good.
I have exhausted myself
I don’t feel myself
In this jungle
Of multi-faceted friends
I still, try and try
Because I believe
All actions come back to me
A truth, a lie.
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
•
I feel like a full balloon
Floating towards a blue sky
With a tiny tiny hole
Exhaling air more than I take in
I feel like a wet sand castle
I still am
But for how long?
I feel like an unformed cloud
In a clear sky
How will I collect myself from places I belong to?
I feel like an old cassette player
Stuck to a tune that doesn’t sound anymore
Just a dust collecting tool.
I feel like the half milky moon
There, yet not there
In this ever changing night sky.
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~insight07
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Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.
