Feeling of Home


While walking on a green field
Under the pale moon,
I remember home.
The suffocating fullness of the incomprehensible love
Habits that have been formed with my limbs
People whose blood and illness I carry as well
A certain smile and care that will always tell me, it will be okay
I remember the walls that have seen me become
A hundred different Devikas before I froze, brick by brick.
All the fights and terror with which we passed each day
All that emotion that flowed thick in us.
The laughs and loose hair, chatter that will always comfort me in my sleep.
I have had the privilege of growing up among different mothers
And I am a daughter to all.

Miles away, my heart beats quickly
I miss not feeling like a pretense
Not being judged in a way that made me doubt my bricks
Not feeling like a burden or having my thoughts questioned
Because even they are a part of an illness that was passed down to me.

Why is home so far?
Why is the feeling of home so far?


~insight07


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

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Just Stop

Thoughts break and whisper in my ears
Not my own, not always
Older eyes stare back each time I look in the mirror
No one is interested in me but me
The unaging mind that sits inside an aging body
Maybe in dreams I see my younger self
And now, I am stared at
Unflinchingly by a stranger
From few days ahead in the future.
I am not sure all people on the road are there
I believe at some point there will be
Copies and forms of thoughts
Your and mine
Out there. Time passes through us as needles
Pinching in some spaces, closing holes through knots
Skin is impermeable.
I haven’t seen my toes in long,
It is a long winter, gathering comfortably in my sweater and socks.
On round pills and liquid tonics, I float
In a sky, almost near the moon.
Maybe I will steal a rock and paint a moon and waves on it.
Or the birds that are needled to my skin.
There’s pain within, tearing my teeth apart.
A sickness that spreads to mind and bones and beyond.
Yet, we keep moving on
And I attend a meeting after the other-
Earphones in my ears.

Please, just stop.

~insight07

Access prose and poems in my book, “Dreaming in a Fish Bowl”!

Link- https://rb.gy/nbxljh


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Ice cream

The sun is hard and hot on my skin

There, yet not there

A sip of cold syrup from

Ice cream between my lips

My tongue is the colour of

Pinks and artificial purples

My feet walk and walk

In maddening circles

Outside periphery of crowds.

My mind is a still ocean

Fishes and lives within its depth

Breathing air bubbles of all shapes and colours

Talking in binary codes and alphanumeric jokes.

~insight07

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Living Memory

A string of words from alien lips remind me of you
I held onto the threads with sticky, honey fingers.
I am wearing my heart on my sleeves
But there is no one to see.
Or hear, or breathe.
It is only the inside of me colouring this house mauve
Then a deep purple,
Then a night.
Moon has come whispering to the sky
A half strung sigh I steal from its lungs
And let it exit from mine.
We are sisters born from the same body, you see.
I lie parallel to some lines that I can’t see-
The human eye and floors above limit me.
But I imagine, as I always do
About horses flying, carrying the sun
From my end to you
They give you a kiss, and a cuddle, some snuggle
On a winter morning we have never spent apart.
(On a straight graph, your bed is parallel to mine
Even if we are some oceans and turtles apart)

~insight07

Access prose and poems in my book, “Dreaming in a Fish Bowl”!

Link- https://rb.gy/nbxljh


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.