I feel

I drink sips of grief

From a porcelain cup

Of tea.

I taste the bitter

Sweet memories

In this black


Coloured candies of

Sweet sugar sweet

Melt on my pink


Salt from a

Pile of white stick

To my wet fingers.

I feel.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


It is a circus

It is a game

You are the trainer

You are the lion with mane

Dancing monkeys and

Blinding colours

Bright lights

Audience full of loud cheers

A joker with sad eyes

An elephant which

Speaks lies

Swinging ropes from

Mammoth tents

A happy dog

Collecting twenty cents.

Who are you

In this flow?

A bit of glimmer

A spark of fake hope?

We are all

Pieces in the game

Come, let’s do our part

Stick to our identity and names

Even if you are lost

You can thank the generous host!


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

A truth, a lie

It’s funny how days

Are not days anymore

But tired hopeless hours

Piled on each other

Faces, are not faces anymore

But expressions of the same

Thought unsaid.

Eyes wander through and to

Colours of humans and one blue

Hands of the dead undead

Deep in my chest

Burst through, branching

Towards the ultimate good.

I have exhausted myself

I don’t feel myself

In this jungle

Of multi-faceted friends

I still, try and try

Because I believe

All actions come back to me

A truth, a lie.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

What am I?

I feel like a full balloon

Floating towards a blue sky

With a tiny tiny hole

Exhaling air more than I take in

I feel like a wet sand castle

I still am

But for how long?

I feel like an unformed cloud

In a clear sky

How will I collect myself from places I belong to?

I feel like an old cassette player

Stuck to a tune that doesn’t sound anymore

Just a dust collecting tool.

I feel like the half milky moon

There, yet not there

In this ever changing night sky.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


Sometimes I feel

The very blood in my body is drying

But other times I feel fine

So fine that I think

And think about all the people in my life.

An odd collection of different facets

Marbled pieces with shiny surfaces.

An arm and inch between me and the world

Faces hover over my neck

Breaths of expectation on my heated skin.

We are going through the myriad of actions

Butterflies on my trembling fingers-

I kiss these pink beings with all my love

Even though sometimes I feel

The very love in me is drying.

But other times I feel fine.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Red brick

A sky trapped between

Two walls

A plant growing from a crack on

One wall

A paint layer peeling from

Two bricks

A name on

One brick

A brother, a sister and a lost childhood

A mother trapped in a word

Her name on a

Red brick of a

Red wall of a

Red building;

Red homes to chameleon beings.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Dumdum rumpum

There are multiple hearts in my body
Each beating to the rhythm of my anxiety
Some in tandem, some in chaos
They dance beneath my skin
A dumdum in my neck
A rumpum in my wrist.

My thoughts sing and click
Music inside my head
Dumdum rumpum
My fingers tap on the desk
Impatient, sweaty, pale
Couples dancing
Two steps ahead, one step back
Some in tandem, some in chaos
A ballroom for my fingers.

My eyes swing from one end to the other
Tick ticky tok
They follow the impatient clock
Tiny heartbeats whispering in my ears
The tune of my body
Of my existence, as I dread just that
My existence.

A dance of my mind, heart, body
I have learnt to excel in
Practice in anxiety-
Yes, I’m growing in it
And out of it.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Love story


It is a peculiar night.
I conversed with a faraway fish
Half milky half moody
She looks solemn my way.
I yearn for her to come to me
Rest on my fingers
Play with the tiny ink splashes of
Night in the spaces between.
I tell her of humans and ask her
About humanity which I sense lost.
Tiny sparks of stars send cold my way
They do not like me tonight
For I am a different me
Uncaring, uncombed, alone
My thoughts, a voice in shambles
Uttering what I can only
Feel. Hot and clingy like the
Unnatural sweat in the suffocating room
Without any outside
Air and moonlight.
Chocolate on my lips
Music in my ears
I talk to my only love
Who will soon forget me too.

It is a peculiar night.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.