Wild Fantasy

Mountains sway to rain clouds.
Trees stand strong.
Nothing can uproot them.
Sky at their feet, or roots.
Thunder cracks at night.
Thunder cracks with the sun.

There is too much to see.

A 2-inch flower stands tall
Among the 293 ft mountains.
Earth hugging the plant with all its might.

Upside down in a puddle.
You can see the Lord reflecting in the petals.
It stands there

More real and true than a structure that exists 467 miles away.
The sun is false. The clouds are false.
Wind on my face is false.

The only thing that feels true is the tiny ant
Holding violently to a small leaf.
The only black spot in this world of endless light.
Blinding white.

Where would you focus in this wild fantasy?


Check out my new book- Sun On My Hands!

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.



I want to remember
Honey from a new tea sitting on my lips, after I thought I couldn’t begin with a new day.
A piece of chocolate that I shared with someone new, with nothing but love and faith in my chest.
Diaries I carefully selected for my friends as they visited my city for the first time, miles traveled for shared moments.

I want to remember
Recovering my health slowly many times, and gulping boiled apples (they taste like jelly).
Cooking on so many days till my father recognized the way I cut carrots differently from my mother and sister.
Sharing a blanket and room with my sister after a year of cold bed, only to fight on most days.

I want to remember
The many flowers that blossomed in my house this year
The way conversations flowed everyday over cups of tea
And the troubles that slept with us, but so did faith, and so much love.

I want to remember
Unlearning the shape of my spine and the taste of my words.
Learning to crawl and cry and stand up again.
Spinning in the same city to different tunes, even as the world lived in air planes, knowing that everything has a time.

A lot has happened
But, everyday has happened too.
And everyday will happen still.

I will be just fine.
Until next time.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Full moon

It is a full moon tonight.
Cashew is the colour of moon.
The moon is 2 cashews combined.

Roads bend and swirl.
Ice creams have a swirlier swirl.
I am supposed to learn how to handle the wheels of my life.
I can’t even manage walking on my own two feet.

People are flying and trying
I am still walking. Or just staring at times
A full moon. A cashew moon.
Clouds have gathered over my mind.

There is no rain. Cold wind.
The sun is hiding.
I am also hiding.
Layer upon layer of thoughts.
Sometimes I forget the shape of my fingers, only wordless minds remain.

I don’t know if I miss my friends or sister or him or myself.
I do miss beaches. And a sense of relief.
No escape feels enough.

At the end of a long journey. Long time.
Sits acceptance.
And my lonely full moon.

I wish upon Earth many more happy moons and smiling cashews.

(If you have ever eaten a cashew,
You are a full moon too)


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


I never tried putting a shape to my life
Earlier, maybe it used to be a flower, a cloud, a feather on a bird flying free
All my stories, experiences, feelings
Sunlight and fairy lights
Have been reduced to a cube of thickness 1 inch on each side.
Over the sharp edges I tumble as
A chance is played, and a move is decided.
Falling face first, I notice blood everywhere on the white ground
Marble does not absorb, but slips.
A layer above my skin, increasingly so
I am told to not take things personally.
What remains mine, then?
Not the victory, not the words, not the time
Just exhaustion.
I sleep in a blanket of tired only to wake up to
My body giving in to the demands of the city air-
There is no air.
This pandemic is global
But it feels so personal as it seeps into every crevice and pore of my life.
All my stories, experiences, feelings.
A dice on my screen, I play ludo with my sister before sleep, sometimes
To calm her and myself.
(Our cube room holds both of us together).


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.