Empty and Spaces

Places that feel strange, yet familiar
Wind in the spaces between my fingers-
Can I claim this air clutched in my palm as mine?
Buildings with some bricks missing-
Eyes and cameras with filters peep in
It’s beachy, blushy cheeks in the cold of winter.
I paint flowers on an unbalanced pot-
One with a red snail and one with the sun
White clouds float with the aim of filling empty spaces.
Unknown faces crowd my mind through a known screen;
I am blue in this ocean of information
A fish and fisher at the same time.
Patience eats my mind and time,
A thought sits with me at nine
Can I be mad enough to believe this world exists only for me?
Demons exhale doubt at my sticky neck-
Even if I don’t see the sun
Even if I never see air
I feel it on my skin-
Existence is a personal experience.
In the chaos of everyday, I hang a string of warm fairy lights
And rest in its glow for the night.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


Sometimes I think I have lost the ability to create.

There is a lot inside of me that needs a release

Sticky feelings that shouldn’t exist at all

Thoughts I have thought, a little too much

Imageries and sensations that have no place in me

Concerns and worries about which I can do nothing about

And then there’s the multitude of questions

That plague my ever curious mind.

I feel like a full moon that is waning-

A sliver of sanity remains within me.

Sometimes I think I have lost the ability to create.

My words in conversations feel repeated and defeated

Activities seem like a burden- there is no originality.

Is there even a thing called originality?

Or is everything a repeat- a cycle

One in which we were born too late.

Maybe then, there is no creation

Only renditions

And my life can be a permutation combination of the many lives past.

All concerns aside-

This prose above is an original.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


I look at the tiny ants crawling on the desk-
A space that I share not just with my sister
But a kazillion more beings.
The spider teases me as it swings from the yellow lights
My sister hung to bring her distant home to this home.
I always felt time is an illusion.
But I am realising that space is a bigger illusion
As my universe size shrinks
To a room and two devices.
With all the pills crowding my organs, I float in space
That feeling of nothingness stays
Even when I wake up.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Manufactured minds

Manufactured minds-
A productive thought for a dollar each.
I imagine babies hanging mid air
A singing voice floating everywhere.
Flowers pink bloom against imagined walls
People stand in front of imagined gods-
Flames burn and the smoke rises
The smoke enters my cold lungs.
The anatomy of me is science
The anatomy of mind is unexplained-
I am counting pennies for each minute I sell my self.
I imagine fishes smiling at rocks with eyes
A ship sailing down towards the edge
Of an Earth that has lost its shape,
And is indeed flat as a button.
Peeping through one of the four holes,
I look at the sun blazing straight at me
As if hoping for my end
To close this loop of birth and death.
The mystery of existence in a sinking planet-
It’s 9:29 AM, time for my morning meeting.
“Hello, Good morning!
I am good, I have a few updates to make…”


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


I have been devoured whole
By mouths that open to scream.
Canines push into a tender mind,
Blood rushes in where thoughts are born.
From outside, this house seems almost stationary
A Painting with walls and lost distant eyes.
As you come closer, you see fishes swimming
In round bowls and square windows-
There is a dark ocean in this constraint.
Efforts to swim are a waste;
The waves will devour you whole.
A floating, flowing mass with
The salt of emotions biting my skin.
What have I become?


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.

Miss Fish Curry


Miss Fish Curry had been waiting all day-
She enjoys eating the edges of clouds that pass over the Mind Sea.
After 3.5 hours of sighing, came a big cloud flying over the water surface.

With a handkerchief tucked in her collar, Miss Fish Curry furiously started chasing her giant meal.
Her 3.5 inches body swam and swam and swam
Her tiny teeth gnawed all the way.
The shadow of the cloud flew with the currents-
Nibbled at the edges.

Miss Fish Curry celebrated a good day and a full stomach,
Existing happily in the Mind Sea,
Looking at the pink sky that lit up with thunder and electric ever so often.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


My life brings me to the world.

Crowds swallow me whole

I am but a morsel of a being

Flavour of anxious confusions

And contemplating hours.

I almost made eye contact

With a stranger whose heart is

The exact size of mine.

I shared a thought with one

While he was peeking into my mind.

A woman almost slipped her food on my sleeping being

While talking about her ex to her unborn child.

These stories could be true

They could be false

One truth remains

Crowds are crowds and they are there for a reason

Each person each story with a force behind them

Have come to this point

To stare at you as you

Read your borrowed book in an airport queue

To board an always delayed yet on time flight

To fly home into a reality that at the same time

Is the most convincing illusion

There ever will be.


Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.


How have we humans evolved

Into this society, this structured world

Where we are always on the run

Buildings stand higher than 1000s of me piled together

The sky is a blurry line.

Things make sense to these residents, but I feel a little unknown

Everyone seems knowledgeable

Everyone seems so happy

Maybe it is this network of social media

Or maybe it is the development of minds greater than mine

To unachievable achievable heights.

I lose myself in random musings

Maybe, this world which is so intimidating

Is not the real world

All of it exists just for a moment

This drop will dissolve in the ocean

I will go away into its depths

To be found by no one, to exist nowhere

To just not be, ever again.

~insight07 •

Copyright ©Devika Todi. All rights reserved.