Words shut in my mouth don’t talk anymore.
In numbers, I spend my life
Body spent in a pain that is my luxury
I travel miles and miles to my blood
All the while, I too bleed
Memories of people haunt me
Cobwebs of feelings decorated on dust stained ceilings
Here, the winds flow free in between my fingers
The sky lights up and pours
I cry too- it has been long
Months are not months but years to me now
I feel so grown, so old
Yet, I know I am lying to myself.
Finding a person of my own
Body and soul, petrifies me
I feel unlovable, you see
I am just another person on just another planet
There is no grand meaning to my existence
And this is the ultimate truth of life- my life.
People whom you love- do they really love you?
Or just like anything else, you are a mistake
Cutting through a womb and generation
To exist where you are not meant to be-
And search for meaning in a mind dictionary.
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